New York City 5 Boro Bike Tour In May

This May you have the opportunity to ride through Central Park on your bike. Okay, that’s not news, it’s the other thirt-six miles around traffic free New York City that is news. . . . → Read More: New York City 5 Boro Bike Tour In May

Liam Neeson's New Digs

Liam Neeson declared on Jon Stewart’s show last week that he would be happy to move into one of the luxurious carriage horse stables in Hell’s Kitchen. . . . → Read More: Liam Neeson's New Digs

Petit Pups in Central Park

Now I have nothing against dogs. As a child I cohabited with several and they all proved to be loyal, steadfast companions whose entire mission in life was to make me happy (that’s besides eating, sleeping and inappropriate behavior with, well, pretty much anything they could jump on or rub up against.) I also have nothing against small dogs, my brother’s family once owned a poodle which, without the embarrassing hairdo, looked like a tiny Phil Donahue and was even more ingratiating. The problem I have is with large men walking tiny dogs on long leashes around the reservoir track. During one recent endorphin fueled confrontation I stopped mid-chug and asked an oblivious lump in an overcoat if his dogs (two miniscule longhairs that would have, together, lost a fight to a good sized dust bunny) could read. He looked at me with brow knitted intensity and replied huh? I then pointed to the lettering on the base of the fence which says no dogs and said Could you help them out? Of course my scathing sarcasm was utterly wasted, not to mention the fact that the next runner bumped into me and scowled in my direction. After a few more grunts all around I decided to resist the urge to kick the dog, or its owner, and resumed trudging along.

Liam Neeson Defends Horse-Drawn Carriage Industry

Talk about disappointments – Liam Neeson, who has been a supporter of a great many humane efforts throughout the world, released a statement this week through the Irish Echo supporting the carriage horse industry. . . . → Read More: Liam Neeson Defends Horse-Drawn Carriage Industry

Raccoon Throwdown

I was struck tonight by one of my Quest For Fire – man against the elements urges (delusions) and bundled myself into nine or ten layers of clothing for a dork walk around the Reservoir. (For the uninitiated dork walking is an alternative form of exercise made necessary by have used up all of that annoying cartilage in my your left knee. So, instead, to get your aerobic (not to mention endorphic) rocks off and enjoy the greater outdoors, you strap all manner of weights to your hands and arms and then flail about energetically (or dorkily) while you stride purposefully around the park.

And there is a proper way to dork walk. You cannot, for instance, practice this time honored art of locomotion demurely, gracefully or elegantly – and you certainly cannot do it with any sort of dignity. When you dork walk you’ve got to own it, you’ve got to move, get your arms pumping up and down like a drum majorette with a bladder problem. You must move confidently (while never crossing the line into anything actually fascist) – sort of like the music video for “Safety Dance”, only without all the serfs. This results in an energetic workout, a way for parents to scare their children into behaving and something for tourists to write home about.)

Anyway – tonight’s DW took me around the Reservoir, freezing – yes, but also a crystal clear night sky that featured not one star, but actual constellations. Now whenever I . . . → Read More: Raccoon Throwdown